Saturday, 23 May 2015

Stuck on You & Other Prime Cuts by Jasper Bark

Loved the forward, what a great story, wish I had been there!

Stuck On You: An awesome story and it just gets better with rereading. Poor Ricardo what a way to wake up, but think it was worse for Consuela.

I was totally gripped from the first paragraph, how could I not be with lines like this; Her body smelled rancid from the vomit with an underlying odour of burnt pork.

So, the basic premise of the story is philandering Ricardo goes on a shopping errand for his poor, but stupid wife. He ends up cheating with some skanky drugs mule, gets struck by lightning on the ass and then a bear shows up to the picnic!

Joined at various parts poor Ricardo tries to make it back to his jeep but must first make it out of the forest, as bad goes to worse the final text conversation is hilarious and heart stopping all at the same time.

There is a great underlying dark humour to this. It’s short and snappy and the writing style is very clean and easy to read, it has a way that just seems to keep you engaged, despite smelling my dinner burning in the background.

As the story is played out in a serious of flash backs, little pieces of the story come to the surface and you are drawn to like then dislike Ricardo as each scenario is completed.

The gore and gross factor are right up there with some pretty hot sex going on in here too.

Taking the Lies: The nonchalant gore is so bold as to be funny but also very puke worthy. Loved it!
A piece of flash fiction about revenge and a urinal, just made me cringe.

The Castigation Crunch: I could not stop giggling at this one, so very clever in its use of language and reference.

An economist arrives in Hell and soon lands the role of reconstructing with some unexpected consequences.

One of the punishments is giving Power Point presentations for eternity.

I’ll Met at Midnight: a strange twisted and intricate tale of lost lovers.

I was totally intrigued by this tale, the writing as always, is fast and in depth with a clever angle that surprises each time.

How the Dark Bleeds: wow! This is definitely my favourite story, again so full of information and back story that I felt like I had read a novel.

Poor Stephanie is in the grip of a delusion and as a reader JB makes it hard to tell what is real or fantasy.

The baseline behind it all with the Blood Witches is amazing.

Mouthful: wahahaha! This is the best animal liberation story EVER.

Fantastically written with just a conversation piece but so much is implied.

Haunting the Past: a man wakes up in a pool of blood, how, why, who… mind boggling and brilliant.

Dead Scalp: an old Wild West tale, with cussing, gore for all flavours, some shameful sex (!), with giggles abound and a real twist in the telling.

A much longer story than the rest, more in line with Stuck On You…..a great way to end.

Loved the Afterword comments and little ditty.